A Little White Dress

I have finally found my wedding gown. It fits me like a glove and matches our wedding theme exactly! We're going for a timeless look with a hint of late 1940's charm. Let's face it Grace Kelly, Vivien Leigh, and Audrey Hepburn are fashion Goddesses. I don't want to look back at our wedding pictures in 20 years and say to myself, "What in the world was I thinking?" Basically, it boils down to the fact that I don't want to look like a Utah cupcake bride or a Disney Princess.

I LOVE Latter-Day Bride. The dresses are mint. My dress is an ivory satin mermaid cut with intricate antiqued beading throughout the bodice and train. It is gorgeous. It's the first dress that I tried on, but I knew I had to try other shops and styles before I just went off and purchased the first dress I saw. Well, poor mistake. I went to a shop down in Provo and every dress was HIDEOUS--one made me look like a white picnic table and another had this weird puffy cloud bottom so I looked like an angel atop a cloud. No bueno. Thus, forcing me to drive back to Salt Lake City and purchase my lovely dress I first wanted.

Now, I just have to find the perfect bridesmaids dresses which are going to be even harder to find than mine....

A Stork Landed with Baby Asher!

I having been waiting semi-patiently for the past 12 years to be an Aunt, and Asher has finally arrived to our family.

Asher Matthew

1.19.11

He is as cute as a bug and perfect in every single way. Heavenly Father has blessed Paige and Eric (and the rest of our family) tremendously. I know Paige and Eric are going to be wonderful parents and that Asher is meant to be in their family.

I admire Paige SO much after watching her battle with infertility and all the emotional and physical anxiety, hardship, and sorrow it fosters. I don't know if I'd be that brave. She's been through so much trauma including two in-vetro medical attempts/miscarriages and an adoption that fell through a week before the due date. Still, with loving words of advice and encouraging support from Eric and close loved ones, Paige didn't give up and tried new routes in bringing a baby into their family.

After much research, Paige and Eric tried a small private agency located in Salt Lake. They had just begun the process of registering with the agency, and only had their names and a few pictures to their file. Asher's birth parents contacted this agency 2 days before her due date and looked through every 'admissible' couple, yet none of them matched what they were looking for. Finally, with hesitation, the workers showed them Paige and Eric's new meager profile--Asher's birth parents immediately knew their baby belonged to Paige and Eric.

At 10 PM, Paige and Eric picked up the most important phone call they have ever received telling them they finally had a match. Usually, in adoption processes, the adoptive family has several weeks and/or months to prepare for a placement, however, Paige and Eric had less than 24 hours to prepare to be parents and bring a baby into their home! And boy were they ready!

Asher's birth parents have a very unique, yet beautiful situation. They are both in their early 30's and have been in an monogamous relationship for over 10 years. They did not feel as though they were ready to be parents and rather than having an abortion, decided to give their beautiful healthy baby boy to a couple who couldn't have children. Beautiful. Truly a miracle and selfless act of love. They chose Utah because of the wonderful and easy adoption laws.

Asher was born January 19th. His birth parents handed him over to Paige and Eric minutes later after he was all cleaned up saying, "here is YOUR son!" Teary eyes and warm arms met the tiny precious babe with a long and cherished welcoming.

Paige and Eric called me first with the adoption news and birth--as this was a promise Paige made me countless years ago that I'd be the first to know she was having a baby! I rushed over to the hospital the very next day when other family members were legally allowed into the room and see the child. I met the birth parents and they were the dearest people in the world, and I truly love them for this miracle they provided.

My heart melted when I first held baby Asher in my arms. He is such a pristine little baby and so new from heaven. He is a miracle and I was SO overwhelmed with streaming tears of joy that I was finally holding my nephew after waiting an incredibly long time. His birth parents probably thought I was an absolute nut job.

Unfortunately, my poor fiance, Ryan was as sick as a dog with a severe flu during this entire occasion, so he was unable to see the little guy for about a week. But, now Ryan's been able to play with him and I didn't know it was possible, but I've fallen even more in love with Ryan after watching him with Asher. He's going to be such a good Uncle in a few months, and an even better father one day...in the VERY far future.

It's incredible, but Asher's birth mother loves to cook and bake just like Paige AND his birth father is a nationally 'ranked' Halo player (which is huge according to avid Halo players like Eric and the Griffeths). He also is pretty tall and has thick dark curly hair just like Eric! So, funny how miracles work--Asher is meant to be Paige and Eric's.

Miracles happen. I know this. God's hand is involved in everything in our lives and He knows what trials and blessings we need as well as when we need them to help us grow and become the strong individuals he wants us to be.

Vegas Trip numero Uno

Ryan and I just returned from our first official road trip AND wedding planning excursion! We had an absolute blast thanks to Ryan's dear friends Jon and Haley Atkin who are pretty much the bomb (wow what a terrible 90's expression-I feel SO dated now).

The trip down was a little nerve wracking seeing as we almost ran out of gas in the middle of the desert. Luckily, Ryan is a brilliant and excellent driver, thus putting the car in neutral allowing us to 'roll' down the hill just in time to get to a gas station before we became 'really' unfortunate. I tried to keep my cool during this adventurous episode, however the back of my mind was reeling with imaginative outcomes consisting of me sitting in the car alone at 11 PM while Ryan walks to a distant gas station and creepy prowling men trying to break in the car and kill me and eventually mug Ryan--I know, I know, dramatic. But this is what hollywood movies and 20/20 does to you.

Luckily, we arrived safe and in one piece only about 30 minutes behind our estimated time of arrival.

We spent the entire weekend searching florists, reception centers, cake bakers--you name it! I think we've narrowed it down to a few places, all we have to do now is crunch numbers and make some phone calls. I think the flowers are going to be my favorite part of the wedding because I will be able to use my favorite pink peonies in my bouquet!

I've never seen the Las Vegas Temple, so we stopped by to look at it. It is stunning! I can't believe we're getting married in such a beautiful and sacred space. LOVE it!

I am SO stinking excited, especially because Ryan is ultra helpful in wedding planing and actually cares about things--unlike most grooms. I'm just very, very glad he doesn't want the typical Mormon style wedding consisting of standing in a line and shaking hands in a church gymnasium surrounded by wild children, basketball nets, and a plethora of punch bowls.

While we were there, we did manage to squeeze in some entertainment! Jon and Haley took us to the Strip which was Ryan's first time on it even though he lived there for 2 years (LDS missionaries weren't allowed near it--ultimate RED zone). We enjoyed walking around and seeing all the bright lights and complete crazies walking around. An MJ impersonator yelled at Ryan for absolutely NO reason whatsoever and then began to pester me for dating this 'joker'. Interesting word choice since I do believe he was a Michael Jackson impersonator after all.

Jon and Haley treated us to a ride down Freemont on one of those zip line things. My vivid imagination, extreme vertigo, AND height fright nearly kept me from participating, but, I sucked it up, closed my eyes, and leapt--and as you can see, I lived to tell the tale! (For Christmas, Ryan bought us skydiving tickets, so one day AFTER we're married I'm going to have to muster up this same courage again...)

I also managed to break or fracture Ryan's nose with a door at Jon and Haley's. I don't know the actual medical terminology, but there was severe bleeding, bump, and crookedness that wasn't there pre-accident. Hopefully, when the bruising goes down, Ryan won't looked maimed...

On Bended Knee

Well ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for has finally arrived....we're engaged!!! I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend for eternity.

April 23, 2011----Las Vegas, Nevada

Here's the story:

Ryan and I have been thinking about getting hitched for the past few weeks. We went ring shopping once just to find out my ring size and narrow down the general idea (even though Ryan knew exactly what I'd like without even asking...simple and bold). I had been under the impression that it would be at least 3+ weeks until it was finished...

Friday night, Ryan told me that we were going to meet with his former Mission President after he got off work to discuss possibly using his company's pavilion/garden for a open house. As we were pulling into the parking lot, Ryan suggested we look around the back area to see the space so we could have a better idea of what we were envisioning for the event. To my utmost surprise, Ryan had a completely different reason to us going on a stroll in the back....

Before my eyes, Ryan had several romantic tables with candles and he even rented electric heaters (so we wouldn't get too cold, after all, the ground was covered in the remains of a January Blizzard). Ryan wrote me a poem and set up a trail for us to follow. We took a stroll down memory lane as we relived one of our very first dates--trespassing. He read each new verse of his poem at the 'set up' tables particularly placed at noteworthy spots from our original date. Ryan even set up one of our songs, Inevitable by Anberlin on a bridge in the garden for us to dance to.

To this point, all I could say through fits of crying was, "Is this what I think it is Ryan?"

Afterwards, Ryan gently lead me to the very spot where I accidentally dragged him knee deep into a pond on our visit to the garden. He sang me a song on his guitar, and slowly lowered onto one knee.

I said, "YES!"

The ring is absolutely beautiful, and do I mean BEAUTIFUL! I can't keep my eyes from it--I'll probably still be staring at it until the day I die. It's an emerald cut diamond with 2 tapered baguette side diamonds on the band. Ryan definitely knows how to shop. I've only had it a few days, and my finger already feels naked when I take it off. Funny, somehow my finger knows that that ring belongs there--forever.

Walking in Memphis

I already miss beautiful and semi-warm Memphis! After walking off the plane, I immediately gulped in the all too familiar humid air, and my heart started beating as if it were to explode--first, I was going to get to see Ryan after not seeing him for over a week (our longest time apart). Secondly, I was going to have to meet Ryan's FAMILY! I've never met a serious boy friend's family before so I was as nervous as a pig in a bacon factory.
Not surprisingly, the Carnell family was full of Southern Charm, and I instantly fell in love with all of them. Ryan's brother and his cute wife Katie even made an unexpected flight on Sunday afternoon to visit everyone for a few hours before they moved to South Africa. I was very grateful that I got to meet them, especially since I wouldn't have gotten to meet them for at least 2+ years. Also, it was a wonderful experience getting to see Ryan and his entire family interact, eat, and play games.



Ryan is such a romantic and an excellent tour guide by preparing a secretive daily schedule of fun things for the two of us to do while I was visiting.

On my first night in town, Ryan recreated one of our very first dates by getting keys to the local church building and setting up a movie projector and couch for us to watch Casablanca in the gymnasium. We had a wonderful time for the first 20 minutes until I passed out stone cold from utter exhaustion...and I felt absolutely TERRIBLE for falling asleep after he put such effort and sentimental thought into it...but he quickly followed suit so I didn't feel as bad. However, since I've never seen Casablanca--at least not to the end--we will put this back on our dating bucket list. So Ryan = Score and Courtney = Fail on my first night in Memphis.

I specifically asked Ryan to show me around the town where he grew up. I really wanted to see the many special places that were dear to his heart so I could get a better feel for his life and what he liked best about his childhood. So, the next day Ryan again, was a fantastic tour guide while he drove me around Germantown. We went on a fun hike through the woods to this river 'beach' that was absolutely breath-taking and romantic. That night, we ended up visiting his old high school where again, Ryan pulled out his charm card by getting keys to the football stadium box and setting up a sentimental hot chocolate date with a playlist of our favorite songs. We ended up unlocking the sunroof which lead to the rooftop. Knowing I have an extreme case of severe vertigo, Ryan helped me up (and overcome my fear of being so high). We danced on the roof under a clear, star-lit night sky. I'd say Ryan was definitely getting a 2 for 2 of A+ nights!

Before I got to Memphis, I begged Ryan to take me to the zoo since I love animals. My favorite exhibit was the 'Night Zoo' where an aardvark scared me to death and a bushbaby played with us through the glass. Then, we met up with his high school buddies and enjoyed an epic night of Memphis-style ice skating--which is far different than most rinks I've been too. Memphis hadn't had an ice skating rink in who knows how many years...so 1. it was very amusing watching everyone attempt to ice skate and 2. the rink was only about an inch or so deep and the zoo workers used these amazing contraptions made of push brooms, buckets of water and lawnmowers (yes, lawn mowers) to resurface the ice. It was quite an unique experience to encounter.

Ryan's face is AMAZING...just found these little ditties in the gift shop

Goofing off at the rink...nearly killed a kid with my blade...

Us at the Memphis Zoo

New Year's Eve happened to occur on our little vacation, so we decided to visit Beale street. It was DOWN-POURING but the streets were still hopping with excitement. We visited some shops and ran into a local pub to listen to Blues music (and escape the rain). Ghost Town Blues was playing, and the drummer, Preston, happened to be one of Ryan's long time buddies. They are an excellent Blues band, so if you're into that kind of thing--check em out!

Ghost Town Blues

Preston the drummer

Soaked after New Year's Eve

Ryan wanted to take me up to his family's farm that was about an hour away from Germantown for a bonfire and our own New Year's Firework show. The farm was serene and peaceful, and I instantly felt homesick for the rolling hills of Missouri. On our way up, Ryan told me the best BBQ spot of ALL time was a little hole in the wall called Bozo's Hot Pit Bar-B-Q. The Carnell's, Johnny Cash, and Elvis were frequent visitors of the small diner---and after tasting the smokey sweetness, I know why. Seriously, I've never felt like such a fat hoss in my life, but the pulled pork and baked beans (which I usually CANNOT stand) were to die for. Hopefully, I'll be able to go there again someday, cause seriously, this place was delish. Actually, it was so good that I bought myself a Bozo's tee-shirt and 3 bottles of their homemade BBQ sauce. mmm....

Our last day was very bittersweet, actually mostly bitter with a slight pinch of sweet due to Ryan's last surprise of horseback riding at Shelby farms. I love horseback riding, and I haven't been able to go ride since I moved to college, so it was a fun last treat and memory. It was even more memorable because Ryan's horse had severe gas and mine has an infatuation with nipping other horses' bums! Here are some fun pics:

Beautiful Shelby Farms and riding trail.

Couldn't resist doing this edit...Ryan looks like a burly cowboy :)

Memphis was absolutely wonderful in every way possible! I greatly appreciate all the hospitality and kindness the Carnell family gave me while I was visiting them. And I especially LOVE all the hard work and time Ryan spent on making my visit perfect! He's a definite keeper!!!!